This is it…

This is it. I know we’ve pretended this before
But this is it. There isn’t a “you and me” anymore.
This is it. I’ve cried one last time
Now it’s done, you’re no longer mine.
No more thinking that tomorrow we’ll be okay.
No more making up for the wrong things we say.
No more stressing over silly fights.
No more kissing and staying up all night.
No more telling you my dreams when I wake up the next day
No more watching you sleep as we lay
No more sneaking around and racing hearts
No more begging you to stay and never part
No more holding your hand as we watch my favorite movie at night
No more having you with the full moon in my sight
You don’t want me or anyone so you said
And now I lay here replaying the last 6 or 7 years in my head
Of when we first met and when we first kissed and how much I love
How much over myself and anyone else I’ve placed you above
I’m thinking of the huge hole you’re now leaving in my life and wondering if you care
I wonder if I left you with my broken heart would you even see it there
I’m thinking of all that would’ve been if I never wasted it all on you
And I’m thinking that you’re thinking the same thing too
We say it’ll never work and yet it has so far, right
I say I don’t need you but every one says that in a fight
This is it. No more calls texts or visits from me or you
This is it. No more secrets, touches or personal value
This is it you’re free and so am I from now on I guess
It was getting old so now we’ve put it to rest
I’ve cried and got angry and then I just got cold and numb
To waste anything more on this whatever we had would just be dumb
I should be at peace and I should be ready and I should be happy
Well… Are you? Without us, without me
Is this where you saw us? Ending like this?
Are you thinking of me? Am I nothing was I ever something? Am I some one you miss?
This is it. You’re over it and I guess I’m not yet
Years from now maybe…but no not really I bet
When I see you I’ll smile and I’ll pretend everything’s alright
Please don’t ever talk to me again if you don’t by the end of this night
I needed closure and I guess I’ll have to settle for what I got today
It’ll be for ever in my mind that’s why you should always mean what you say
This is it. You always say “i still love you”
This is it. Were over…. I’ll always love you too

Dear Dad

Dear dad,
Your oldest daughter’s turning another year in a few days
I’m sure shed like you to be here but I’d rather you stay
Stay where ever it is that you are now I wouldn’t know
Cause I haven’t seen or heard you for many years ago
I’m not asking for your love or your time or life
I’m not asking you to be my father and make my mom your wife
I’m asking what was the problem way back then
If you could go back in time would you walk away again
What was so important that you had to leave us
Did you think about it the whole drive away in your car train or bus
Where is the pride and ego that should’ve made you stay
Instead of the pride and ego that I bet made you run away
Was there some one else that told you we weren’t worth visiting or giving a call
Did something wake you in the night that made you look at a baby me and you regretted it all
Did you not like us as kids or did you just not like you
Did you not want to face us everyday or just not want to face the truth
Did you think running away from responsibility would solve it all
Did you think if you didn’t have two kids around your ankles you wouldnt fall
Did you know you were a horrible person so you wanted to protect us from harm
Did you think that someone else would be better to give all your charm
You don’t have to tell me your tricks of how you play the game
Because I’m reminded by lots that know you that I can be the same
Let’s be honest here even though honesty is not your strong suit
Why didn’t you come back even if my mom did give you the boot
Be a man it’s not like you don’t know I’m your kid
I have your face and your flaws that I can’t get rid
I tend to flirt and to use and lie and cheat
And instead of facing fights I’d rather leave with defeat
Which is exactly what you did and what I used to do
But you see that’s just it I want to be nothing like you
If I ever am blessed to have two daughters as beautiful and perfect as we are
The last thing I’d be on there birthday is far
The first thing when they see me is not feel sad or cry and whine
I want them to look at me and see that I’m proud they’re all mine
When they’re told they’re just like me they wont take it as an offense
And if I ever have to leave them they’ll know they’re missed
When they look in the mirror and see that they look identical to me
They’ll glow with pride that they’re like someone that they always wanted to be
Unlike you when my kids have kids of their own
They’ll have a great example by all the love I had shown
I’ll never be missing from my kids life’s and monumental life steps
They’ll never question what love is because of the example their father will set
I’m thankful to you for my genes and that I look like you
But saying my inner self is identical to my father I’ll make sure is never true
I appreciate the example you set for me and what I should look out for
You’ve shown me what I don’t want to be and to love someone that’s so much more
More responsible more reliable more caring and complete and can take life’s curves
And never settle for looks that are temporary and a mouth full of lying words
You are nothing to me and no matter what you do for your new kids it will never make it up
For that fact that if ever asked how we are you wouldn’t know what
You wouldn’t know how smart we are and how funny we are too
You wouldn’t know that it hasn’t been easy but we’ll make it fine without you
You have no clue how life could be because you never even tried
And you wouldn’t know the nights we stayed up and both cried
You wouldn’t know just like I don’t know if you even care
I’m staying up tonight writing this not that I’ll ever to you share
Share my life my thoughts my goals my humor and everything else I could’ve gave
Gave to a man that should’ve been here but I guess I’ll just save
Save my time and energy and emotions for someone who actually cares
The person who’s stuck around for all these crazy hectic years
I’m the baby you left who’s now a young woman and she’s the little girl who’s older now too
Do you even realize we still exist, or are you trying to forget that too?
Anyways… I guess what I was saying was is that years have come and still will continue on by
I’m not looking for your love or time or life but I have questions so please reply

Come Back to Me

they say only love and regret last forever

well i regret loving you cause now i cant get any better

they say nothing worth anything goes down easy

its true, you’d know if you’d ever come and see me

some say the never-ending war of love can add to the chaos in between life

i guess i wasnt listening when they whispered love can hurt like a knife

you say you were giving me space but it seems you just left out of boredom

if you meant to set me free, know there’s no such thing as part freedom

because the whole world is spinning and i wanna spin too

but here i am stuck in the past waiting for you

cause the questions are flying through me, was this all just for fun?

will i ever be your everything? will i ever be number one?

i hate this feeling of uncertainty in our relationship

i know i don’t deserve the issues that i constantly deal with

so i wanted you to feel how it felt to seem replaced

to feel like my love for you wasnt safe

i did my dirt because hey so were you

its only fair we both had our cake and ate it too

but two wrongs don’t make anything right

and now that you’re not here i know ill regret it all my life

but id end this whole thing and tell you that you were always right

just so i didn’t have to lay here and realize you’re not here tonight

id take back all those words that cut like a sword

just so i didn’t have to lay here and realize you’re no longer apart of my world

actions or words? which, if i had to choose, would it be?

actions, if it meant that tonight youd be here with me

id give up never again hearing those three words from you

if it meant that tonight and forever all that’d matter is just us two

id give anything to flashback to the day you said you were falling for me and tell you i had already fell for you
rewind to the night that you said you loved me like crazy and tell you that i was insane too

i wasnt kidding that night when i said you were mine

i know well end up together, so for now ill wait and give you space and time

how can one thing i did change everything and make my place in your heart drop

i cant understand because no matter what you’ve done, my love for you will never stop

i always kiss you in my head before i go to sleep

i pretend you’re next to me as i drift into the deep

im with you in those dreams during the night and the day

“i miss you, i love you, come back to me” is all i can ever say

i don’t believe in fate and i don’t believe in “meant to be”

but you have to believe that it always ends with you with me

every missed moment, choice, happen chance, and mistake

its separated us on to the different roads we now take

but in our lives every seemingly little interaction

will set us off into a large chain reaction

where on both of our roads we will then be affected

and in years from now when we least expect it

our lives will once again touch and our love will be reconnected

love. no they never once will say that its easy

they just say its worth it… come back to me

Replacement

I’d love to sit with my ex lover and let out a dramatic sigh
Tell him he underestimated my power of moving on. But hey so did I
Because here I am with my heart full of love for another
Writing down words that I feel in my heart but never utter

You have filled me with so much life and desire for so much more
Then any of the freedom for passion I’ve felt before
Sometimes I want to hurt you and kiss you at the same time
Sometimes I want to be alone but I still want you to be all mine
It’s lonely here at the top of the world but I want to step down to be next to you
I’d set the world on fire to help you find me and give you a clue
That I love you and need you in my life from now on
You make me happy and peaceful I hope you agree. It’s with me you belong

On love poetry

On love poetry. she’s so right

Hello Everyone!

Welcome to my WordPress.com. This is my first blog. Please read and give me your outlook on the poems. Pros and Cons

what was your plan?

i know your just mad hes getting what your missing

thats not my problem because thoughts of you -i forget them

now your just my past

now your what i realized would never last

i hope lifes going according to your plan

because your becoming someone i cant stand

with out question, i was your answer

dream girl? i guess i wasnt her

thats okay, to someone else, i will be beyond that, because im real

and ill make him feel better then your dream ever will

youve managed to keep me captivated for all these years

but look around you now – nobody cares

so i cant say im sorry, im not – but nows your time to apologize

for the games, the deceiving, and the lies

for making me feel like youd be there when it mattered most

but when it was time to come help me, you acted like a ghost

years from now when my children ask about my first love what should i say?

should i tell them about today?

should i tell them the bad parts or only the good?

tell them you couldnt be the man i thought you would

because yes today it hit me, for the millionth time

that what the future holds is that you wont be mine

im not sure if its because im not good enough for you

or maybe i dont say or act the way you want me to

i wish we could both be the way the other needs

i wish we were really as perfect as sometimes we seem

so dont be mad that your ship has sailed

dont look at me like that. im not leaving, how could i leave when you already bailed

too perfect to be

if you have nothing to gain, then you have even more to lose

stand up for your heart, and the choice you choose

love wasnt meant to be put on a schedule, one sided, with rules and riddles

so if you cant say yes or no why lay stuck in the middle?

why must i stand blind surrounded by other beauties

but with my mind undecided i cant see

no, i cant see all the others because im still dreaming of “what if we…?”

what if we what?! when will i see?!

you dont want to be what i need you to be

no need to cry over what was lost because in the end

you cant cry over someone who wasnt even a true friend

i hate when i have to stop and look at reality

because truth is you dont really love me

but i let you string me along and push me into the back

i let you place all our blame on me, because of what i lack

i dont give enough and im not around as youd like

i understand though, maybe you right

how is it possible two people so perfect for each other be so far apart?

is our perfectness the reason no matter how many times we end, we restart?

your smile is contagious to my own

and when i lay in your arms i feel at home

our bodies are to the tune of the others rhythm

together we move to the others system

our thoughts are simultaneous

separation only brings sadness

i could talk about how were made for each other all day but the fact remains

were doomed for chaos if we never change

one is no less stubborn then the other

this is exactly why we will never be together

someone must give up theyre world, its the only way

so complicated for something that feels so perfectly simple, and yet all i want is to stay

remember me

shes taken all the energy you had

i guess youve found better and thats too bad

i understand youve been busy

you may not even remember me

ive sat here waiting night after night

to only be approached in a fight

i try to remind you of the moon

to shine in your life when theres gloom

but some how shes taken you away from me

and she doesnt even know that shes lucky

shell never love you, like i always have

shes never been there to have your back

and i know your too busy to hear

but whenever your head is free and clear

i hope that you stop and think about the past

and i hope you remember me at last

but if theres any justice in the world

i know shell turn out to be that type of girl

to leave you hanging high and dry

ignore you when she hears you cry

lifts you up just to let you hit the ground

but nice enough to lead you around

sees another man and ups and leaves

pretends she dont know you when your in need

but when you feel that crazy pain

i hope you hear my name

and then come back to me on your knees

because im sure thats when youll remember me

YOU and TWO

every morning when i wake up i think of YOU

and every night i think of you TWO

one day i woke and planned to see YOU

but that afternoon i saw you TWO

TWO and i laughed and joked and before i left TWO kissed me

but that night i saw YOU and then you kissed me

i smiled and it hit me like a ton of bricks

today my two loves i kissed

i wake in the morning and think of YOU

and at night i dream of you TWO

im in love with two wonderful men

and i cant wait to kiss you both again